90210 Countdown Number 3: U4EA

Season 2 Episode 15. “I’d like to exchange and egg.” Getting into a rave is easy for some, but very. Very. Hard for others. Andrea and Steve spend the entire episode trying to find the right convenience store where they can give them an egg +$10 and get the address of a big rave. It’s moments like everything in this episode that reminds us exactly how uncool all of our West Bev regulars really are. They go to the rave and not one of them looks like the fit in anywhere, except Emily, who is so comfortable there that she immediately spots and cops from a drug dealer in the room. She slips Brandon some U4EA, and he rides the high. Jason Priestley acting drunk is at least a 7 on the unintentional comedy scale, but Dylan, dumping Brandon into the back of his car and calling him “Rico Suave!” rates as a solid 11. It’s a line so horribly lame that Dylan used it in at least one other episode. When Dylan wants to sound with it, he calls people by the title of a Gerardo song. Thank God they graduated in ’93. Two years later he’d likely have been trying to make calling someone Ma-Ca-Re-NA! Sound cool. David is completely drunk, because in the last episode his best friend shot himself right in front of David. He lashed out during that episode and got drunk in this one. By the time Emily sets the float on fire in Brandon’s driveway next episode he will be completely over it. It’s too bad they buried that time capsule the week before, because this episode deserves to be shown to the people who dig that up in 32 years.

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