90210 Countdown Number 4: It’s a Totally Happening Life

Season 3 Episode 16. We have now reached the greatest use of the flashback in the history of the world, especially as it applies to unintentional comedy. It’s Christmas 1992. Dylan, Kelly and Brenda are in the middle of the triangle love triangle to end all love triangles. Steve has been suspended for using a freshman to help him break into school to change his grades. Brandon and Andrea come close to making sweet, ink-covered love as they both just got dumped, and they are all, save Steve who is dressed as Santa and already there, are on a bus on their way to the Alvarado Street Shelter to bring Christmas to little kids. We see all of this because an angel trying to get his wings is showing it all to his mentor angel, Clarence, in hopes that they can prevent a drunk driver fromT-boning the school bus and killing everyone on board. It’s the lamest thing in the history of TV. It’s horribly executed, and in the end the angels somehow make the drunk drivers trunk pass through the school bus saving everyone. But you know why they had to do that, because they thought they had taken care of it by rerouting the truck driver and avoiding the wreck, but they rerouted THE WRONG GUY!! They have the power to make two solid objects pass through on another, but they can’t get it together to figure out if the driver is name Craig or Greg? Holy God! Just thinking about it now, 18 years later, still makes me want to punch someone. It’s maddening. It’s incredibly cheesy. It’s EXACTLY why I love to watch 90210.

Advertisement